Fake It Until You Make It: Stepping Out of My Comfort Zone and Overcoming "Imposter Syndrome"

I walked into the crowded school gymnasium. I didn’t know so many people even existed in my small California town. Yet, here they were, packed into bleachers. 

I was very aware of the fresh, minty taste in my mouth—I heard chewing gum helped calm the nerves. Suddenly, the crowd went silent. Now all I could hear was the sound of my shoes, step-by-step, as I continued to make my way up onto the stage and in front of the podium's mic. 

"What did I get myself into?" I thought.

I had always been somewhat of an introvert. However, I desired to be more social. So what did I do? I decided to run for Class President. I had never given a speech before, let alone in front of an entire school. But here I was. 

They chose me. I won. After the elections, I wondered, "Now, how did I manage to pull that off?"

Good question.

Several years later, I watched Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk that discussed how one should “fake it until you make it.” It really resonated with me because looking back, that’s exactly what I did. As I watched her talk, I also remembered walking up to that podium.

I had convinced myself that I was comfortable speaking in public. In reality, I wasn’t. In fact, I was quite shy. Still, I believed in myself and so others believed in me too. Over time, I felt comfortable speaking in public. I became the person I had envisioned. 

It’s easy to stay within the parameters that make us feel safe, but I wanted to change. In that moment, I learned that change comes from within. We have to be proactive and believe in ourselves. We cannot let ourselves be the reason we don’t reach our goals.

This lesson has continued to follow me throughout life, including here in medical school. Being surrounded at the College of Human Medicine (CHM) by one hundred and ninety brilliant peers in my class—many already with countless accomplishments—can make you question yourself. 

These were the cream of the crop at their respective schools. Now, they're here, all in one place. To me, there is no question that they clearly deserved to be here.

But do I? 

"Maybe they made a mistake," I've wondered. This is the “imposter syndrome” so prevalent among medical students, in which one doubts their accomplishments and feels relatively inadequate, unworthy. There is also the accompanying fear of being "exposed" as a fraud. Many medical students at some point or another feel that they do not belong and question their intelligence despite evident, amazing achievements. 

If you have ever suffered from imposter syndrome, you're far from alone. It's estimated that up to 70% of people have imposter syndrome and some of the most successful people have suffered a bout with it.   

The truth is that medical students are not imposters at all. It takes years of hard work, focus, and persistence to get into medical school. Those experiences, relationships, grades and scores, are earned. 

With more and more medical schools taking a holistic approach to admissions, they're getting a deeper, more thorough look at students beyond the classroom. The holistic review is often tied to a school's mission, so acceptance means they've done their diligence and recognize an applicants ability to fit with and succeed at the institution. 

I try to remember that if the college didn't want me to be here, they wouldn't have accepted me. But here I am in my second year, moving forward just like that day in the gymnasium. 

 It's all about fit at CHM and I fit here.

By forcing myself to accept that I am exactly where I was meant to be, especially when those feelings of doubt arise, it has allowed me to free my mind and focus on being the best student and, ultimately, physician I can be.

Stepping out of our comfort zone allows us to grow in new areas. Sometimes, we just have to put our best foot forward and hope for the best—even if our only hope in that moment is that our best foot doesn’t trip us up in front of the whole school.

 

 Harminder Sandhu is a second-year College of Human Medicine student from California. As an Office of Admissions blog contributor, Harminder offers an inside look at the college from the student perspective. Read more of Harminder's posts.